Santorum Slashfic: 50 Shades of Romney
July 17, 2012 § Leave a Comment
It’s that time again!
Previously on Santorum Slashfic, Ricky learned a valuable lesson about online dating. This week, Ricky tries to make sense of the latest crisis to hit the Romney campaign. Please check your gently used copies of 50 Shades of Grey at the door, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!
Everybody in Matt Roomby’s house keeps talking about the brain capital and Ricky Santorum is very confused! He knows that when a place has a lot of one thing, people sometimes call it the that-thing capital. But if that’s true, how come there are no brains anywhere??
After a weekend of sniffing, Ricky finally finds some brains out in the garden. He shoves as many as he can into his mouth and trots back to Matt Roomby’s house. He accidentally eats them before get gets inside though, so when Matt and the blonde lady ask where he’s been and what he’s got all over his face, Ricky makes a barking noise and barfs up all the brains.
“Those are my prize-winning turnips!” The blonde lady yells.
“You can have someone grow more,” Matt Roomby says. “Now, I need to go strategize. Jeff Gordon, come!”
For the thrilling conclusion, go to Modern Primate!
