e-LOL-ction 2012: Talkin Political Memes on The Awl
November 2, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Today my friend Kate Miltner and I published a yak on The Awl (which is awesome), about political memes! Here is that framing:
Whitney Phillips: So memes, right!? Memes are so hot right now. MEMES. Whatever that term even means anymore! We are wading through puddles of memes, whether we’re talking about unimpressed gymnasts,television premieres, or NASA scientists. Memes have even broken into the political space—if there is anything more pervasive than political memes, it’s the discussion andcollation of political memes. It’s now routine for news organizations like Time and ABC News to file helpful reports like “Binders Full Of Women: Ladies And Gentlemen, Your New Political Meme” and hurl around listicles of the “funniest debate memes” like so many politically-themed frisbees.
And people cannot seem to agree whether this is a good thing or the worst thing! For some, political memes represent an EPIC WIN for CROWDSOURCED DEMOCRACY. For others, they are a sign of theintellectual apocalypse! For many seasoned internet hands, they provide further proof that memes have become the victim of their own success. So which is it? Are political memes ushering in a new era of crowdsourced democracy, or are they proof that the American political discourse has become so superficial that we can’t digest anything longer than 140 characters?
This is a good article you guys, and the full text is here!!!
MALARKEY
October 11, 2012 § 1 Comment

Pretty much covers it.
Malarky. Boom. Buh buh buh. Martha. Get this kid of my lawn.
No kid seriously.
NOT MATHEMATICALLY POSSIBLE.
Oh, now you’re Jack Kennedy?
To conclude, CURLS. P90X. My friend. My bean. THE CALENDAR IS ALWAYS THE SAME.

We Have A Winner
October 4, 2012 § 2 Comments
Update from yesterday’s post:
Oh my gosh everybody, were you watching the debates when [BIG BIRD-GATE] happened? No, I wasn’t either, but I was on [TWITTER]. My feed totally blew up when [ROMNEY] [THREATENED] that [MUPPET]. Everything I saw was either a .gif of [OBAMA] [WIELDING A LIGHTSABER], or something from meme generator with [ROMNEY] all like “[I LIKE IT].” The whole thing was so [BORING]!
It’s morning in America everybody! Better fire up your photoshops.
[INSERT MEME HERE]
October 3, 2012 § 4 Comments
Here’s my take on what I’m sure will be a memorable evening of political wankery, and memes! Memes as far as the eye can see. Memes until I start crying blood. Wait, the debates don’t start for another few hours? OH WELL THE SHOW MUST GO ON. From my Modern Primate article:
Oh my gosh everybody, were you watching the debates when [EVENT] happened? No, I wasn’t either, but I was on [SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE]. My feed totally blew up when [CANDIDATE] [VERBED] that [NOUN]. Everything I saw was either a .gif of [CANDITATE] [VERBING], or something from meme generator with [CANDIDATE] all like “[CAPTION].” The whole thing was so [ADJECTIVE]! Even my [OLD PERSON] posted something about it. I was like, [OLD PERSON], how did you hear about [EVENT]?? It only happened 5 minutes ago! And [OLD PERSON] was like, “I follow [CORPORATE MEDIA OUTLET] on [SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE]. Can you believe that [CANDIDATE] really [VERBED]?” I was like “[INITIALISM]“!
More here!
Santorum Slashfic: Ricky Makes His Best Friend a Blingee
July 26, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Previously on Santorum Slashfic, Matt Roomby brainstormed ideas for reaching out to the mom vote, then settled in with Ricky for some light erotic reading. This week, Ricky flexes his creativity bone. Better make yourself a whiskey sour, Ricky’s a pretty slow worker!
Just like his advisors suggest, Matt Roomby takes a nice picture for his latest round of mailers in front of an old dilapidated barn, like they used to have in the Depression. In addition to wearing the most worn-in pair of blue jeans he could buy at Nordstrom’s, Matt tries to look a little mean so all the moms will think he is at least one shade of Grey. Research sure pays off sometimes!
Matt’s pictures turn out great, but the American flag Annie Leibovitz draped over the barn door doesn’t POP as much as it should. The campaign has no choice but to hire a graphic designer for each MacBook Pro retina display in Matt’s house. “The first one done is a rotten turnip,” Matt has one of his assistants folksily text his other assistant, who posts the message to Facebook, where each of the designers can access Matt’s instructions, from downstairs. “Also,” Matt texts. “Please turn in your assigned laptop with one of the night footmen before you leave. That way I’ll be able to review the proofs first thing in the morning.”
Go to Modern Primate to read more — I can’t promise you fame or riches, but I can promise that the following Blingee is a plot point!
Santorum Slashfic: Making Friends is a Real Grindr
July 3, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Earlier today I was linked to this Daily Currant article, which WOULD have been the greatest Rick Santorum-related Grindrgate the world has ever known. As it is, the article is satire — better luck next time. That however didn’t stop me from writing a Santorum Slashfic:
Previously in Santorum Slashfic, Ricky was settling into his new life as Matt Roomby’s dog Jeff Gordon. This week, Ricky tries to make contact with his long lost friend Michael on Grindr, his new favorite app. Pull up a smart phone and join me, will you?
Even though he is supposed to be Matt Roomby’s dog Jeff Gordon, Ricky Santorum still carries a smart phone. At first Matt Roomby thought this was strange, and one morning asked Ricky why he always played Bubble Shooter whenever he went to the garden to go poop. “Woof woof,” Ricky said, and Matt Roomba just laughed.
This morning as he was Googling his own name, Ricky found a silly article that pretended to be news but was actually full of lies. After he finished reading the Fox News article, he found another one that made Ricky very confused! It said that a reporter found a Grindr app on his phone, which Ricky thought was for coffee! Ricky knew this wasn’t true either, because coffee gave the baby Jesus cancer and anyway he was Matt Roomby’s dog now. Still, Ricky had never heard of a Grindr, and decided to see if maybe it could help him find his friend Michael, who Ricky met last Easter. Just thinking of Michael made his whole face get hot!
For the full article, go to here!
Back in the Santorum Saddle
June 25, 2012 § Leave a Comment
In the last few weeks of the dissertation process, I pretty much lost contact with the universe. I didn’t really do anything or go anywhere or talk to anyone (with a few notable exceptions); mostly I just worked. My freelancing gig at Modern Primate was one of the first extra-curriculars to go, as my brain simply didn’t have enough space or time to deviate from trollshit. This was a bummer because variety, they say it is good for one. But as the 50 year-old ex-addict returning high school kids would say, now I’m back in skoo! Hence my newest Santorum Slashfic — I’ll be ratcheting up the slash schedule, probably will be writing about two a week, depending on things like gaffes and gay sex scandals and whatnot. Setup: Rick Santorum has been hired as Mitt Romney’s family dog. Hijinks ensue!
The first day Ricky Santorum moved in with Matt Roomby, he got a leather collar and a new name. It took Matt Roomby a while to decide what to call him, but finally he settled on Jeff Gordon, which according to one of Matt’s butlers is the name of a famous NASCAR driver. “I love NASCAR,” Matt said, wiping his forehead with a twenty-dollar bill.
That was two months ago, and they have been the best two months of Ricky’s whole life! Most of the time Ricky stays home with the blonde lady, but sometimes Matt takes Ricky on day trips to that one crowded place filled with drunk people where Ricky used to play senator. The crowded place reminds Ricky of when he was a baby and spent all day nursing, and that makes him miss his mommy a little, even though she’s mean. But when that happens Matt gives Ricky a biscuit, and tells him to go poop in all kinds of funny places, like Al Franken’s espresso machine. It’s hard to stay sad when you’re pooping!
For the thrilling conclusion, go to here!
Political Slashfic: Ricky Santorum is Bad and Filthy
March 28, 2012 § 2 Comments
It’s that time again!
So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum says a naughty word and pays the price!
Ricky-Rick Santorum has been a very naughty boy. When the mean old reporter asked some things about that thing, Ricky huffed and he puffed and he said the BS word, which was wrong! His mom was so mad she sent him straight to bed without any dinner!
“And no toys either,” she said.
“B-b-but moooom,” Ricky whined. “Not even my Glowbear Bible?”
For the thrilling conclusion, see Modern Primate!
Political Slashfic: Santorum Takes a Stand
March 16, 2012 § Leave a Comment
It was the best of times, it was the Santorumiest of Times.
So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum takes a righteous stand against pornography himself.
America is suffering a pandemic of harm from Santorum. A wealth of research is now available demonstrating that Santorum causes profound brain changes in both children and adults, resulting in widespread negative consequences. Addiction to Santorum is now common for adults and even for some children. The average age of first exposure to hard-core Santorum is now 11. Santorum is toxic to marriages and relationships. It contributes to misogyny and violence against women. It is a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking.
For the thrilling conclusion, see my post on Modern Primate!
Sing……Sing a Dogsonnng…
March 14, 2012 § Leave a Comment
My favorite part is how they’re so pleased with themselves.
Also, for those of you following the curious case of sanctimonious big-city reactions to earnest Olive Garden reviews, the meme is officially dead. RIP, Tuscan kitchen!










