January 20, 2012 § Leave a comment

I can only imagine how confusing the SOPA pushback was to all the bejowled Congressional slop-monsters who love intellectual property so very much and are never gonna give it up, no matter how nonsensical the legal definition of the term might become. I’m sure they thought that taking a bite out of cybercrime would be “good for business,” because that is the most important thing, in America.

Having never stepped foot onto this Internet contraption the aids who maintain their Twitter accounts are always “twatting” about, however, they had no way of knowing that by drafting their enormously stupid bills they were in fact threatening people’s ability to fuck around at work. And if there is one thing Americans simply will not stand for, it’s being told that they cannot giggle at Full House slowdown videos on their employers’ dimes. There will always be death, there will always be taxes, and as long as there’s an internet there will always be people ready to throw themselves into a volcano rather then relinquish their jollies to the Man.

After all, and this is why I was never worried about SOPA passing, people are more invested in their playtime than any other time, including the time other people’s children might spend fighting in unjust and oops illegal wars, which as you may have noticed are still, like, things, and even 10 years later haven’t generated the same kind of sweeping, organized, we’re-mad-as-hell-and-we-won’t-be-taking-no-for-an-answer scorched Congress protests as pushback against the fun-killers. Obviously the protests generally and blackout specifically were about much more than JUST FUN, and obviously there were protests against the wars (I realize this comparison is apples-ish to oranges), but fun was one of the main reasons so many otherwise ostrich-headed citizens got involved. Because take mah Facebooks away!? NEEVRRRRAR!!

This is good, and trust me I am very glad, but damn. If there’d been more of this eight years ago (and granted web culture was still in its infancy then, I’m just being wistful GET OFF MY NUTS) we may not  have found ourselves in such embarrassingly dire political straits, which we’re still trying to drag our bloody foreclosed carcasses out of.

But yay still, because fuck SOPA.


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