And That is Officially That.

August 5, 2012 § 1 Comment

Looks familiar.

About twenty minutes ago I finalized my dissertation and deposited the document with the graduate school. It’s been a busy few days, what with all the BRAIN-MELTINGLY TEDIOUS formatting requirements; for those who haven’t yet slogged through this last step, all I can say is that it takes SO much longer than you think it will, so plan accordingly. If you can, give yourself a week more than you actually need and/or a week more than you THINK you’ll need (no matter how on top of your shit you may think you are now), because trust me, by the time the last-call depositing bells are ringing your brain will be the consistency of pink slime, see above, and you’ll struggle with things like “spelling your name” and “figuring out the wait, how are you supposed to with the thing, goddamn I mean, if you do tabs now then the whole line totally, no that’s not, WAIT WHAT IS, HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS RAAAGEWLHRWOEHRHWHE dot leaders for your table of contents page,” which is actually the most infuriating two pages you will ever format in your entire life. This process would take forever if you were still the bright-eyed-bushy-tailed whippersnapper from six months ago, but by this point your exhaustion will be matched only by your anger. Seriously, give yourself an extra week.

So, yeah, that—– this time when I say I’m done, I actually mean it. The truth is that finishing actually takes a few months, and really only happens in degrees — you defend, are given revisions, make the revisions, submit the revisions to your advisor, make any further required changes, deal with whatever formatting issues for what feels like six hundred and fifty fucking years, and THEN deposit. By the time you click –by the time I clicked– that final “submit” button, not only did I not feel excited, but I mostly just felt like breaking my computer.

In conclusion, I need a nap.


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