Sometimes, the Universe Gives You a Gift
March 6, 2014 § 5 Comments
It’s beautiful.
You could be standing in line at the grocery store, twiddling your thumbs in front of an episode of Bridezillas (I don’t know what you do), or sitting through an all-day grant kickoff meeting, as I was this afternoon, when suddenly BOOM the heavens part and you are presented with a gift so pure, so beautiful, that you can hardly believe that it’s yours to keep and hold forever.
Case in point, the AMA Martha “My Everything” Stewart did today on Reddit, to which my little beauty childhood bestie Martha 4eva Kato (backstory here) alerted me via excited text message. I know, I know, to read it you’ll have to go ON Reddit. But that is a small price to pay, because how else will you learn the latest sexy sex tips? (“Always take a bath before and after.”) Or the merits of truffle oil? (“I think truffle oil is one of the few ingredients that doesn’t belong in anyone’s kitchen. It is ruinous of most recipes.”) Or how many tacos Martha Stewart can eat in one sitting? (“I was at a really good Mexican restaurant yesterday, and I ate one whole taco. I was still hungry.”) Or the secrets to proper towel maintenance? (“You should check your water, your soap, the temperature of the water, and your machine. Something’s wrong. Towels should last at least 20 years.”) Or some stone cold existential truths? (“We are all faced with serious challenges during a lifetime.”) Or how you should clean, as Reddit user joliekerr put it, a “steel riveted leather harness used for a strap-on dildo?” (“What’s a dildo?”).
So, I’m just going to sit here and let the joy just wash over me, because today is pretty much the greatest day of my life. Thanks to Kato for sharing the good news, and may god bless you, each and every one.
I hated having to refer you to Reddit, but the passive aggressive answers were SO DAMN GOOD! (“I have never said Gwenyth is a bad homemaker. In fact, I’ve never been invited to her home, so how would I know?”).
Oh god I laughed at that one. The SHADE of it all!!
What would you ask her (or in fact, did you ask her)? Myself, I’m curious to know her thoughts on the subject of dump cakes.
“What’s a dump cake,” I’m sure she’d respond coquettishly…
[…] heard so much about on television, you just get better and better with age. You DGAF, you’re funny, you throw shade like a boss, and generally you are just my hero. God bless everything about you […]