Regarding Courtney Stodden, I’m Being Serious You Guys

November 6, 2013 § 2 Comments

One of the reasons I’ve been so quiet this past week is that I’ve been practicing and practicing and practicing the TEDx talk I’ll be giving November 15, and haven’t really felt like internetting, at least not actively/publicly. The TED talk is titled “Why Study Villains, Scoundrels and Rule Breakers? Trolls as Case Study,” and although I present an overview of my troll research (shock), it’s really about the kinds of things we can learn from transgressive behaviors (that is, behaviors that are REGARDED as being transgressive within a particular culture or community). This idea dovetails nicely with my not-even-kidding-you-guys fascination with and appreciation for Courtney Stodden. I was just explaining this connection to my friend Mike, who emailed me a link about the untimely demise of the Greatest Love Story Ever Told, aka 19 year-old Courtney Stodden and her 54 year-old former X-Files monster of the week, and decided to share.

Because the thing is (and I argue something similar in my TED talk, though geared towards trolls), Courtney Stodden might be outrageous, but her antics aren’t THAT far from the kinds of constant, unrepentant STUNT QUEEN moves “normal” celebrities make on a regular basis (I’m looking at you, Kardashians). Neither is her overly sexed, borderline pornographic personal brand much worse or more shocking than how “normal” young female stars are routinely packaged. Nor is/was Doug Huchison’s leering interest in a teenager (let’s not forget, Stodden was 16 when she first burst onto the WTF scene) much creepier than the sexist, fetishistic cult of (white) female youth that simultaneously drives the entertainment industry and normalizes the lascivious male gaze, particularly when directed at the latest hot young usually blond thing (emphasis on “thing,” since these young women are treated more like ornamental commodities than complex human beings). What Stodden does is call attention to these points of (perhaps uncomfortable) overlap, and that, for me at least, is what makes her genuinely interesting. For better or worse, Courtney Stodden is what is actually true about American pop culture. And god bless her for her honesty.


I’m Not Ashamed to Admit

November 6, 2013 § Leave a comment

I really thought these crazy kids were going to make it

…That I asked myself this very question, and in fact discussed the custody question mark that is DOURTNEY STODDEN (Courtney Stodden and Eugene Victor Tooms’s adopted dogchild) via text with my very best childhood friend (of Martha Stewart fame; see this post for a rundown of our various fantagonistic exploits). “I can’t believe Doug and Courtney are calling it quits!” she wrote. “I know!!! I am heartbroken,” I responded, after which I asked about Doutney’s sad future as a dog from a broken home. “I read they will share custody (phew!),” Katie answered. “At least there’s some justice in the world,” I wrote, and then went on a long rant about how I hope it turns out this is the STUNT QUEEN move to end all STUNT QUEEN moves (the phrase “STUNT QUEEN” must always be in all-Kanyes), and that Doug, Courtney, and Dourtney will be laughing all the way to the bank/VH1’s primetime lineup a la Speidi. A girl can dream!

Really though, I’m sorry to hear this news (I’m not, really, because Courtney needs to spread her wings and FLY). My love for the instillation art piece that is Courtney Stodden is well documented; verily she is the hero we all deserve. So, I salute you, the former Mrs. Doug Hutchison! I trust you are already shopping a Rock of Love-style dating show (also: apparently the NYT reviewer who thought she was slamming Rock of Love doesn’t realize that an opening line like “VH1’s ‘Rock of Love With Bret Michaels’ is carnival sludge: a nauseating paste of fried dough, cigarette ash, salt and grain alcohol” only makes my heart grow fonder). I do not think I need to say that I will watch that mess, because I will. Oh, how I will watch it.

In conclusion, never change you beautiful troll!

Courtney Stodden Rides Again, Is A Beautiful Corpse Bride

April 3, 2013 § 4 Comments

stodden reactions

The vast majority of the articles I’ve read about Courtney Stodden fall into one of two categories. Either they are written in hushed, disgusted tones, or they are punctuated with wide-eyed OMG WTFs. In almost every case, Stodden’s celebrity is framed as unwarranted, inscrutable, and quite possibly a sign of the apocolypse.

But bah I say. BAH! The correct answer is to marvel at Stodden’s pitch-perfect embodiment of the sensationalism and exploitainment that quite literally drives the contemporary mediascape forward. Courtney Stodden is the raw amalgam of every television series TLC has ever produced; she is the Daily Mail in human form; she is, in short, what click-based ad revenue would look like, if click-based ad revenue looked like a person. She is perfect and beautiful and we deserve her.

And with that, I give you her most glorious photo shoot to date: her full-frontal spread with corpse fetish website Girls and Corpses. NSFW, obviously, but worth every penny — and do savor the detail that the featured corpse is named “Doug.”

The Courtney Stodden Performance Art Show Continues

March 9, 2013 § 3 Comments

My hero Courtney Stodden (no really; check out this article in which I bestow upon her flaxen crown the title of honorary troll) has recently taken to posting nuanced character studies/profiles in courage to her must-watch-TV YouTube channel. This week she tries her hand at “Courtland,” her fictional half sister. “At least I have half of my fucking dignity left,” she explains, which made me want to invite the budding thespian to my wedding. She continues: “I’m not going to my judgmental place, but I’m from Washington State, ok?”

Courtney, you are sunshine on a cloudy day. Don’t ever, EVER change.

Art, Party of Stodden

February 10, 2013 § 2 Comments


I was traveling this past week and ended up stranded in Orange County for an extra day due to SNOWPOCALYPSE. I finally made it home last night, and this morning woke up to this masterpiece — my hero Courtney Stodden is at it again, this time with a glamorous music video. A glamorous music video for the AGES.

A Courtney Stodden Sex Video?? Pass the Jalapeno Poppers, It’s ON!!!

August 31, 2012 § 4 Comments

The good news is, now that she’s 18, it’s no longer creepy! LOL SURE OK!!

From the Superficial:

So if you’re wondering how long it will take for Courtney Stodden to jump on one of the four porn offers she received on her 18th birthday, immediately. Almost immediately. TMZ reports:

Stodden just called in to “TMZ Live” … and told us she’s been “flooded” with XXX offers from the moment she became “legal” … and the thought of her getting intimate with another man is freaking out her 52-year-old hubby. Still, Court says … “I’m not gonna say yes right now … and I’m not gonna say no.”


My Life is Officially Complete.

July 31, 2012 § Leave a comment

America’s beauty rose is finally getting her own reality show. This is great news! For those of you who think I’m kidding, trust me, I’m as serial as a lip-lick loop! For proof and also a recap of my love, go to here.


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