April 27, 2012 § Leave a comment


I think Courtney Stodden is in danger you guys. What if she falls and scuffs her knee? What if she’s unable to escape the dragon that appears to be chasing her? What if she’s being cyberbullied by a 14 year old on Twitter AS WE SPEAK? At 17 years old, Stodden is in constant hypothetical danger. Good news though, a beefed-up CISPA just passed in the House, including revised language subsuming “the children” under “cybersecurity.”  You can breathe a sigh of relief, CourtCourt, now anybody who so much as thinks a nasty thing about you could be subject to limitless government search. Per Techdirt:

Previously, CISPA allowed the government to use information for “cybersecurity” or “national security” purposes. Those purposes have not been limited or removed. Instead, three more valid uses have been added: investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crime, protection of individuals, and protection of children. Cybersecurity crime is defined as any crime involving network disruption or hacking, plus any violation of the CFAA.

Basically this means CISPA can no longer be called a cybersecurity bill at all. The government would be able to search information it collects under CISPA for the purposes of investigating American citizens with complete immunity from all privacy protections as long as they can claim someone committed a “cybersecurity crime”. Basically it says the 4th Amendment does not apply online, at all. Moreover, the government could do whatever it wants with the data as long as it can claim that someone was in danger of bodily harm, or that children were somehow threatened—again, notwithstanding absolutely any other law that would normally limit the government’s power.

This is excellent news. Nothing is more precious to us than OUR CHILDREN, particularly of the teenage child bride variety. But Courtney Stodden won’t be the only beneficiary of Congress’ largesse. We ALL stand to win,  particularly given the difficulty of knowing exactly how old people are online. You hear that, anyone who’s ever said anything rude to anyone on the internet? THEY MIGHT BE 17. In conclusion, CISPA is an excellent piece of legislation designed to provide legal avenues of pushback against political dissent protect our children and make the internet as locked down safe a place as possible. You guys are the worst best!


God Help Me

February 25, 2012 § Leave a comment

I have a new favorite show, about puppies and kitties and shit. I’m never leaving my living room again.

Speaking of that, it’s Caturday TO THE MAAAXXXXX!!!!!!!

via Modern Primate 


January 21, 2012 § Leave a comment

Looks like there’s a new SOPA in town, and this time it’s global. FIRE UP YOUR FUN GUNS, INTERNET.

Ideological State Apparatuses

December 1, 2011 § Leave a comment

Normally I’d just roll my eyes about this, maybe make a snide comments about how cybercriminals are threatening our great nation with bootlegged copies of the 1996-97 season of Mad About You, OFF TO GITMO WITH EVERYONE. But not today, today I’m just irritated. Because this isn’t just old people being dumb about the internet, and this isn’t just about paying homage to the ghost of Jack Valenti. This is an ideological salvo, and a dangerous one at that.

By equating “intellectual property” (in this True Crime Comedy the focus is counterfeit goods, though the press conference extended the IP umbrella over file-sharing) with “drugs and crime,” not to mention TRRKING ERR JERBS and everything that’s plaguing America, Holder and Co. are greasing, or at the very least are running the risk of greasing, the wheels of bullshit SOPA and Protect IP. In short, by framing the discourse in black and white (not to mention horribly misleading) moral terms, the White House is preempting rational debate. Thus the conversation becomes CRIME AND DANGER vs INTELLECTUAL FREEDOM AND FREE SPEECH AND A THRIVING ECONOMY, which for the record is about as false as dichotomies come. Still, for the average American, which of those two categories will sound more desirable? Which of these two categories are people more likely to align themselves with, on (misguided) principle?

More extensive analyses here and here.

Pretty Much.

November 21, 2011 § Leave a comment

fun fun fun fun


All of the Above

September 5, 2011 § Leave a comment

y u mad at my racism bro

But seriously folks. This is one of those moments of double-triple-facepalm wherein internet humor simply doesn’t translate, and results in reports like the above which only serve a) as trollbait and b) to downplay actual discrimination because HAW HAW look how sensitive (black) people are being, don’t they know we (white people) (bravely) solved racism like years ago? So I’m torn, the internet researcher part of my brain is all like ooh MEDIA CONVERGENCE, and the internet person part of my brain is all like lol LEARN HOW TO INTERNET, and the symbolic power side of my brain is all like wow THIS IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO DOWNPLAY BLACK PEOPLE’S CONCERNS ABOUT RACISM.

Video unrelated, it’s a cat being useless.

Mark Reid, “African American Comedy Film”

August 26, 2011 § 1 Comment


One of the fastest and most reliable ways to put my ass to sleep (and/or to piss me off, depending on my mood) is to bring up Freud in the context of humor. As far as I’m concerned, Freud + comedy =  automatic tl;dr, really it’s just the WORST. I’m happy to concede that his whole shit about tendentious humor i.e. rape triangulation (you have a speaker, an object of derision, and an audience; the speaker and audience tag-team whatever object) is…………well it’s a shape, and sometimes jokes do follow that formula. But to say that ALL jokes follow the SAME formula, and are motivated by the same libidinal urges across the board regardless of race, gender, class, whatever, is either tautological and worthless or so laughably offensive to be comical in and of itself.

Re: the former, once you plug the respective variables into their respective positions, what else is there to say? Especially if the triangulation is always-already configured as rapish, the joke can only be reflective of racism, sexism, or homophobia in the speaker/listeners, which may gesture towards racism and sexism and homophobia in the Larger Culture but otherwise has limited theoretical applicability (although I’m sorry, but the racist, sexist, and deeply homophobic Freud doesn’t have a chin to lean on when it comes to the condemnation of offensive cultural output). Re: the latter, the whole setup is as politically problematic as it is simply unhelpful — the speaker and listener are gendered MALE, and the butt is gendered female, which means not necessarily biologically female but something weaker than the joke teller/listener (weaker either literally, as in, some defenseless creature, or ethically/morally less-than, allowing for subordinated groups to mock those in more exalted positions of power deemed morally depraved or otherwise inadequate). The act of telling a tendentious joke is thus framed as homosocial, at least — the teller and listener of the joke touch tips via the symbolic degradation of the butt, and that’s a problem because fags, gross.

Thus I knew it would be a rocky road when I encountered Reid’s first reference to Freud in the third goddamn paragraph. OH GOOD, I wrote in the margins. TENDENTIOUSNESS. Because. It’s just. WHY. (granted , this essay was written in 1993, which is a totally, or maybe not totally, unrelated issue — still, there’s just no excuse for Freud ever) Otherwise the article is straightforward enough, maybe a bit too straightforward (again though, 1993) — Reid chronicles the development and popularity of blackface minstrelsy (performed by whites), hybrid minstrelsy (performed by blacks, though mostly just a continuation of earlier and more explicitly racist tropes) and satiric hybrid minstrelsy (occupies a more negotiated relationship to blackface). Although all three forms are racist in origins, both white and black audiences have a number of –sometimes conflicting– reception strategies, blah blah blah Stuart Hall.

God, it’s been so long since filing a breadth exam thing I forgot my standard protocol. Ummm relationship to other selections. Probably something with Mary Douglas, the assimilating impulse of matter out of place. And Eve Sedgwick, but only if I get to play the I-hate-Freud card, which I highly doubt. Oh man I have so many rude things to say here, but I’ll just keep my mouth shut due to self-preservation and the desire for similar. Smile and nod, honeybadger. Smile and nod.

Where Am I?

You are currently browsing entries tagged with facepalm at a sandwich, with words???.