That’s The Spirit

December 26, 2011 § 3 Comments

Fear and Loathing

I’ve always thought Christmas was weirdly sinister, like Norman Rockwell personified, and when I was younger would frequently conflate Christ’s joyous birth with Christmas’ slutty step-sister, Halloween. This might be due to my childhood obsession with Nightmare Before Christmas, or the fact that God is a creepy dick and is much better suited to scaring the shit out of children than rousing goodwill towards men, or whatever it is that’s supposed to happen while you’re doling out the overpriced plastic crap you had to wrassle all those bitches at the Big Lots to get and mindlessly gorging yourself on Safeway brand sugar cookies, just to drown out the bickering of your ungrateful children who neither need nor want anything you gave them yet still end up fighting over who got what. So this year I decided to embrace the TRUE meaning of Christmas and watch a bunch of horror movies.

I started the weekend strong, with an American Horror Story marathon (see above video for comical Valencia reference). Which was great, really some of the most twisted footage I’ve seen on a network television show (sewn up baby-corpse, anyone?), until the last few episodes when Ryan Murphy aka the show’s producer aka the guy who also does Glee got all traditional family values on us and turned the whole bloodbath into a Hallmark card. This was very disappointing, especially after such a strong start, since he completely eviscerated the narrative stakes — as we come to find out, and contrary to everything we’d seen thus far, all death means is that you get to tenderly reunite with your family (even though they hated you in life), rekindle with your wife for literally no good reason because you’re an asshole, and happily decorate Christmas trees like some sort of unironic Thomas Kincaid painting for all eternity.

We then moved on to We Need to Talk About Kevin, a movie about a school shooting that made me cry, and World’s Greatest Dad, in which Robin Williams discovers his pervert douchebag of a son dead of autoerotic asphyxiation and then makes up a bunch of touching shit to maximize town sympathy. This was depressing, so the next day we got back to our roots and watched all the Child’s Play movies, plus Jack Frost, the mutant killer snowman version (there’s another movie titled “Jack Frost” starring Michael Keaton, but that’s NOT THE ONE I MEAN). We also decided that one special day –maybe next Christmas!– we’ll have to get our friends together and watch The Room, Troll II and Jack Frost, verily three of the best-worst films every to grace the silver screen for like a weekend.

In conclusion, there’s only 364 shopping days till Christmas! You better hurry up, people are already lining up outside the Big Lots.


Merry Christfest, Sinners!

December 25, 2011 § Leave a comment

Here, enjoy this mishmash of festive shit!

…also night terrors!

…also Jan Terri!

…also some funky Christmas soul!


via, via

Love is Patient, Love is Kind

November 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

Verily, a touching racial moment!

Speaking of touching, I found the following while searching for Christian inspirational love songs. YouTube did not disappoint; I could not be more inspired, Christ-wise.

What’s good is your knuckles are made of bones, which can really hurt other bones when you hit them against them.

THESE ARE YOUR PECS YOU GUYS. Everything you can grab.

I love Spike. I love Spike so much.

Oh Just Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison’s Halloween Costumes

October 31, 2011 § Leave a comment

Those crazy kids!

Scary sultry

Dat pumpkin

You can find the rest here!

The Antichrist Sure is a Wordsmith

October 31, 2011 § Leave a comment

Pop perfection.

duckface 666

And if you’re feeling really sinister:

Happy Jesusween, everybody!

Just In Time For Jesusween

October 28, 2011 § 5 Comments

An angel walks among us.

Here enjoy the latest news about my personal hero and world renowned pumpkin jammer, Courtney “and not a single fuck was given” Stodden. If I hadn’t already decided on “slutty honeybadger” for this year’s Jesusween I’d totally be rockin them boots. She’s one in a million y’all! But I digress. To the exam cave!

Joshua Green and Henry Jenkins, “The Moral Economy of Web 2.0: Audience Research and Convergence Culture,” Media Industries: History, Theory and Method (2009)

Problems arise when you put the “We” in “Web!” Due to fans make all the content, companies take all the credit! Or smack these same fans with DMCA-type take down injunctions-o-corporate-fuckery! Fans –both as individuals and within groups– got power though; in order to crest the participatory wave, companies must reassess (trans)media landscape. This can be complicated! But ideally ushers in “moral economy” between top-down and bottom-up models, where everybody wants everybody to be happy. Mutually-recognized symbiosis, in other words. Recognizing/mapping/harnessing these sorts of negotiations requires a transmedia and flexible cross-pollenatory approach, since where does one thing end and another thing begin anymore, god!

Jane McGonigal, “Why I Love Bees: A Case Study in Collective Intelligence Gaming,” The Ecology of Games: Connecting Youth, Games, and Learning (2008) 

Massively-multiple human users! Working together to do a thing! We think, therefore we are! Case study: I Love Bees, an investigative playground-cum-multimedia user-generated backstory designed to bridge the gap between Halo and Halo 2! Which is sort of badass because it was never marketed as such, and no one got any instructions, save for a few cryptic messages from the admin of the initial page. She bolted & then users had to figure out what to do next! Choose your own adventure, using the scraps and pathways provided by the architects! And the hivemind did! Because hiveminds are smart, and like to build things! THESE ARE SKILLS IMPORTANT FOR OUR CHILDREN.

John Palfrey and Urs Gasser, Born Digital: Understanding the First Generation of Digital Narratives (2008)

Kids! They don’t build ’em like they used to. What with their iPods, and The Twitter! They’re not like Digital Immigrants, who have to figure things out as they go, if they ever do, because CHANGE IS SCARY. Kids (and we’re talking about a particular population of “haves,” here) born after 1980 don’t know the meaning of change, because that’s all they’ve ever experienced, making “change” synonymous with stability. There are other things too! Like how they’ve naturalized the breakdown between online and real life (in fact wouldn’t stop to ask what the difference was, or why it might matter)! And how identity for them depends on what platform they’re on! And other things, that confuse and frighten the elderly! IT IS IMPORTANT FOR THE ELDERLY TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S NOT THEIR WORLD ANYMORE LOL [ed. note: my conclusion].

Geoffry Pingree and Lisa Gitelman, New Media: 1740-1915 (2003)

OMG what’s so new about new media! Every “old” media was new at one point! It’s a fucking misnomer is what it is! Because NEW! In relation to WHAT! And assumes there’s not a built-in continuum, and that technologies don’t feed into and harken back to each other! And all that jazz! Gesturing towards some technological telos or whatever! GTF over yourselves, and consider the following: Zograscopes! Physiognotrace! Optical telegraphs! Telegraphy generally! Stereoscopes! Phonographs! “Telefones,” whatever those are!  In conclusion, media.

I don't always not comment on the shit I read, but when I do, I do it with Stodden.


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