Santorum Slashfic: Making Friends is a Real Grindr

July 3, 2012 § Leave a comment

Earlier today I was linked to this Daily Currant article, which WOULD have been the greatest Rick Santorum-related Grindrgate the world has ever known. As it is, the article is satire — better luck next time. That however didn’t stop me from writing a Santorum Slashfic:

Previously in Santorum Slashfic, Ricky was settling into his new life as Matt Roomby’s dog Jeff Gordon. This week, Ricky tries to make contact with his long lost friend Michael on Grindr, his new favorite app. Pull up a smart phone and join me, will you? 

For the full article, go to here!

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Santorum Slashfic: The Cone

February 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

Mmm.

One of my favorite things in the world is anti-fandom, and has been since I was small. Discovering this term two years ago was a revelation, and pretty much legitimized the previous 26 years of my life. I could finally call that thing I’d always done an actual name! Suddenly I felt like people, or something a lot like it.

tl;dr I love love love hating things, not even in a hateful way but with genuine aplomb and enthusiasm. It would therefore stand to reason that I’d have a deranged soft spot for Presidential election cycles, which are basically just studies in anti-fandom and trollish fuckery. 2012 has already been a watershed year, and I assure you will only get weirder.

It was in this spirit that I decided to start writing election-themed slashfic, because why not. I’ll cross-post some of my favorites here, but will be publishing the bulk of my e-LOL-ction coverage on Modern Primate. My first story will run tomorrow, but for now enjoy the following prefatory blurb I’ll be attaching to all my entries, mostly to ensure that no one gets sued. IT’S CALLED ARTISTIC FREEDOM YOU GUYS.

So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today’s adventure stars homophobic folk hero and human-lizard hybrid Rick Santorum, whose insatiable appetite for chocolaty goodness knows no earthly bounds. Bottoms up!

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Just. Brilliant.

February 22, 2012 § Leave a comment

Behold, a portrait of Rick Santorum comprised exclusively of gay porn.

via unicornbooty

It Ain’t Just for Trolls Anymore

February 16, 2012 § Leave a comment

Fuckery comes in all shapes and sizes you guys! For example, Progressive activists urging Democrats to vote for Poop Santorum in tonight’s open causauses. You know, the thing that INFURIATES Democrats whenever they suspect Republicans are doing it. Good thing the rules are different when it’s us! Wait they’re not? According to grassroots anti-troll hero Markos Moulitsas, the answer is apparently MEH!

In other e-LOL-ction news, this is a disappointment.

Smell Ya Later, 2011

December 31, 2011 § Leave a comment

So much to look forward to!

It’s that super fun time of year again, when everyone within blog-shot waxes nostalgic over stories that are mostly still unfolding! What an arbitrary tradition, here look at my list!

Best blithe appropriation of a racially charged viral video

Best meme popularized by Reddit

Best music video 

Best instructional video

Best bad lip dub

Best nature special

Best film

Best first world problem 

Best teen drinking trend

Best audioswap

Best political sex scandal 

Best new artist

2011 you guys! It was a year that gave us all so much, to occupy! OH WELL HAPPY NEW YEAR ANYWAY. See ya in the end times!

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