A Whole Lotta Mad, also Gummies

February 24, 2012 § Leave a comment

For full effect, be sure to read the comments! People sure have strong opinions about things.

Speaking of things, this kind of thing is apparently one?

via FWP

And because it’s Fr-Fr-Friday, here’s a cocktail everyone must try at least once in their lives! FUNNY FOR REASONS HE CANNOT SAY, INDEED.


Smell Ya Later, 2011

December 31, 2011 § Leave a comment

So much to look forward to!

It’s that super fun time of year again, when everyone within blog-shot waxes nostalgic over stories that are mostly still unfolding! What an arbitrary tradition, here look at my list!

Best blithe appropriation of a racially charged viral video

Best meme popularized by Reddit

Best music video 

Best instructional video

Best bad lip dub

Best nature special

Best film

Best first world problem 

Best teen drinking trend

Best audioswap

Best political sex scandal 

Best new artist

2011 you guys! It was a year that gave us all so much, to occupy! OH WELL HAPPY NEW YEAR ANYWAY. See ya in the end times!

The Hot New Trend in Teenage Drinking, or, KVAL Made Me Do It

November 18, 2011 § Leave a comment

As some of you may already know, our teens have discovered new and interesting ways to disappoint their parents. Sexting is so 2010; these days when kids want to get high on life they get drunk on VAKKA SOAKED GUMMIES. The intrepid American news media has been on the frontline of this most recent war on fun for nearly two months (verily they are tenacious! and have a nose for news). On Thursday our very own KVAL news team (sans The Chug, who’s off to midwestern pastures, sniff) threw their hat into the  rainbow ring. How could I resist all that peer pressure??? I couldn’t, is the answer, so a very nice young man and I did exactly what the teevee asked — we found several feet of gummy snakes and took what apparently was very good tequila, and ruined it. Yum!

The fermentation process


Bottoms up!!

I can see why it's become such a problem, for our teens

I can't believe we accidentally the whole thing

Butterfly in the Sky

November 15, 2011 § 3 Comments

Yesterday I ended up teaching my College Composition class about the joys of memetics, and challenged the assumption –made explicit in our reading for the day– that folklore generally, and urban legends in particular, must be transmitted orally in order to qualify as such. As evidence I told them the touching tale of several hot new teenage drug trends, first Jenkem and then the unfolding saga over vodka gummies, a story that’s been rumbling along quietly for the last few months and which has (d)evolved to include vodka-soaked tampon insertion and what the silly old willys in the lamestream media are describing as “butt-chugging,” which sure sounds like something kids today would do!

The hot new drinking trend with America's teens

America’s hot new drinking trend

The lesson went over well, in part because –in this case anyway– folklore can be very funny. Folklore is also very easy to watch unfold, especially online, since all it requires is basic plausibility. And basic plausibility (at least in the “if you can cite it you can say it” sense) is one of the things that INTERNET does best. In some ways, folklore is the discipline best (“best” = not better as much as most naturally calibrated, in possession of an existing language etc) equipped to deal with online shenanigans. Verily was my saving grace after I defected from English, because BOOX???? In conclusion, poop-gas, it’s helping teach the Youth of America to read!

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